


You Were The Best of Us, Gave Me All You Had But I Messed It Up

by PrincessLou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Closeting Stunts, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Fingering, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Recovering Alcoholic, mentions of blowjobs, mentions of rimming, triggering, violent behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:32:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessLou/pseuds/PrincessLou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have struggled for years, but they’ve struggled together. And now, when Louis finds Harry at his lowest point in all the years they’ve been together, with a bottle of champagne inches away from his trembling lips, he knows that they’re still going to get through it together. Because Harry might think he needs Louis to be his support system, but in reality, Louis needs Harry just as much as Harry needs Louis. Harry’s relapsing. But it’s okay, because he has Louis and Louis has always, and will always be by his side, even if Harry doesn’t believe it yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Were The Best of Us, Gave Me All You Had But I Messed It Up

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, here's the recovering alcoholic Harry fic I promised, albeit a tad late so sorry about that.
> 
> The title for this fic comes from the song Stolen (Acoustic) by Lawson
> 
> And there are some lyrics from Perfect that I just couldn't resist putting in there so ten points to you if you find them ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: 
> 
> I am in no way, shape or form involved or affiliated with One Direction, other than being a fan of them and their music. This work is pure fiction from the depths of my mind and has been made purely for entertainment and enjoyment purposes. I do not own One Direction or anyone associated with One Direction and I certainly don't own any of their names. The only right I own is the idea of this piece of fiction.

Harry was clean for almost two years straight. As a recovering alcoholic, that was definitely something to be proud of and something to be celebrated. Louis suggested that they should invite the boys around seems as they hadn’t hung out for quite a while, so they did. It was Louis’ excuse to show off his boyfriend of 5 years, even though the boys knew about them two anyway. They also knew what a struggle it was for them both whilst they were together as One Direction. Forced to be closeted for fear of not succeeding in the music industry and Louis and Harry both agreed they’d do anything for their dreams, including hiding their love for each other. The strains and struggles were felt between the whole band, which led to their split in 2013 and also led to them each being much happier as individuals.

Harry and Louis fought, of course they fought, and they were a couple after all. But mostly they fought together with their management, either about having more free time together or blowing off one of Louis’ already planned ‘dates’ with Eleanor. No matter how much they fought with management it was like taking one step forward and then two steps backwards. It was so infuriating and upsetting and the other lads wanted to help so _so_ much but Harry and Louis didn’t want them risking their careers just for their happiness.

Louis had told them that they could cope, that they didn’t need to tell the world that they’d found each other at sixteen and eighteen. He didn’t need the world to know that Harry was his _whole_ life and without him he’d simply be completely lost. Harry was his home. Harry was _his_. And as long as only the people who mattered to them and the important people knew then he and Harry would be fine.

But he had gotten it completely wrong. Harry couldn’t cope. Harry wasn’t fine.

***

One day, after coming back from one of his many trips to Starbucks with Eleanor, promoting not only the brand but their ‘relationship’ too, he found Harry sitting in the darkness of their hotel room. His knees were curled up into his chest and a bottle of vodka was clutched tightly within both of his giant hands. Wet sobs being muffled by his new jumper and his nose was wiped all along the sleeves. Louis ran to his side and grabbed the bottle from his hands and hugged him close.

“I can’t do it Lou! I can’t take it anymore, it hu-hurts _so_ much.” Louis had soothed him in his arms with calming words and they sat like that for what felt like hours. When Harry had calmed down Louis brought out blankets and they cuddled together on the sofa that night. That was when Harry had revealed something.

“Every time I see you walk out that door to go see Eleanor it hurts, Lou. I know you’re not really dating but it’s really not that different. I don’t know how to deal with it, so I just do my best until I break. I do my best for _you_ , Lou, I always want to be strong for you but I can’t. I just can’t do it anymore.”And that just broke Louis’ heart because he hated seeing Harry like this. He should be happy, they were in love. Placing a kiss upon Harry’s temple he pulled him close, hugging him as tight as he possibly could with fear of Harry slipping away from him. Hoping Louis could make Harry feel better he tried to make him smile by saying,

“Hey, at least there’s one good thing that comes out of all this.” He shifted to the coffee table and held out a plastic Starbucks cup towards Harry, “I got your favourite!”

***

“Do you need me to help you in the kitchen, babe?” Harry was stood in front of the kitchen island in their very modern and _very_ expensive flat. He was wearing that _ridiculous_ apron that his mother, had bought them as a house-or in this case-flat-warming present. It was one of those with a half naked chef plastered onto a beach-y background, which the first time Harry had wore it Louis claimed it looked like a terrible Photoshop job.

“Lou, we both know you’d just sit on the counter trying to distract me.” Louis was now sitting on one of the counters looking mock-offended.

“I would never do such a thing! Harry Styles how dare you accuse me of something so menacing!” He was swinging his legs back and fourth like a little child. His heels kept banging against the cupboard harshly. Harry turned to face him with a smug grin plastered on his face. Louis raised an eyebrow questioningly as Harry swiftly grabbed hold of Louis’ ankles and hooked them around his own waist resulting in a very un-manly yelp from Louis.

“What’ve I told you about banging your feet against that cupboard?” He snarled inches away from Louis’ face. His hands were either side of Louis’ head. Louis just looked back up at him with innocent eyes and a pout. Harry laughed and kissed Louis’ pout away. “You know I can’t resist you when you pull that face.” Harry left Louis alone to return to preparing the meal for the night.

“That was the plan, Curly.” Louis ruffled Harry’s hair and jumped down from the counter to wrap his arms around Harry’s waist from behind. He wanted to hook his head over Harry’s shoulder like Harry always did to him in the mornings but he was too short, so he just peered his head around Harry’s arm instead.

“And you just proved my point of why you’re not helpful at all in the kitchen.”

“I can’t help that you’re easily distracted.” Louis shrugged.

“And you’re a very interesting distraction, very nice to look at.” Harry lifted his arm over Louis’ head so Louis could slot into his side. He shot him a wink then kissed his feathery light hair. “Love your hair like this Lou, s’nice ‘n soft. Smells amazing too, babe.”

"Mmm, strawberries, your favourite. But it doesn't smell as good as this good, what is it?" Louis pondered, even though Harry had already told him what he was making last night.

"Beef Tenderloin Stuffed with Peppers, Spinach, and Goat's Cheese with Wine Sauce." Harry gave a final nod after finishing and continued to stir the sauce with his unoccupied arm.

"Will you be alright, y'know, cooking with wine and stuff?" Louis questioned carefully. He knew Harry could sometimes get tetchy when Louis mentioned things that wouldn't be a big deal to any other person but might cause a problem for Harry. Louis couldn't help being concerned most of the time thought, Harry was his baby after all.

Harry sighed, "Yeah, Lou, don't worry about me, I know you do but, it gives me something to do with my hands I supposed." Harry frowned as Louis wormed his way from Harry's grasp and popped up to kiss Harry's cheek instead.

“The boys certainly won’t appreciate how much hard work went into this, but I’ll be telling them! ‘Had me up at nine this morning, telling me he had to start cooking now or it would never be ready in time!’ Because I’m so proud of my Haz. I really am, but I just have one question, well another question really and I’m sorry to keep on, I just need to make sure you’ll be okay, you know, if I crack open that bottle of wine later? Special occasion and that, but you don’t have to have any if you don’t want it, or I just won’t serve it you know it was a stupid idea, just forget it.”

“I’m fine, babe. Don’t worry about the wine, serve anything you want I’ll be fine with my water.” Harry smiled and nodded towards the tap. “Just, please. Don’t embarrass me Louis, please.” Harry sighed and looked at Louis pleadingly from across the counter where Louis was now sat opposite Harry on a bar stool with _another_ cup of tea. Louis nodded slowly, understanding but feeling guilty that Harry couldn’t enjoy a celebratory drink tonight with the lads like they used to do, at after show parties or when they’d received an award.

“Alright then. I suppose I won’t tell them how I had to calm you down with my fingers up your arse in our shower this morning then.” Louis shrugged and dodged a tea towel Harry threw at him.

“Louis! Get that filthy mouth of yours out of my kitchen and go get yourself ready! Go on!” Louis winked and walked off wiggling his bum much to Harry’s amusement.

“You love my filthy mouth, and don’t try to lie!” He shouted as he walked into their bedroom to sort out an outfit for tonight. He popped his head around the doorframe and added, “Especially when it’s on your arse or around your cock!”

***

Swinging the door open, Louis greeted the boys with warm hugs and sloppy kisses to their cheeks. “Harry’s just finishing up in the kitchen, if you’d like to take a seat at the table, and I’ll just take these and pour us some drinks!” Louis said gesturing to the six-pack of cans and Liam’s expensive looking bottle of wine and walking off into the kitchen.

“What’s up Louis? You’re acting really posh.” Niall asked and raised an eyebrow at the way the table was laid out in front of them.

“Yeah... You’re not usually like this. What have you done to the table? Who needs like, five pieces of cutlery? Is Harry behind all this?” Liam started to walk in a circle around the table as if he were inspecting it for dust or something.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.” Zayn added.

“I think you’ll find that it was _my_ idea to set the table like this, but I guess you could say I was slightly influenced by what Harry’s cooking for our main course.” Louis walked back in with an open bottle of wine in one hand and an open can in the other. He set them down on the table just before Harry snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist and squeezing tightly.

“Yep! All Lou’s idea, my gorgeous little helper. Although there’s only a main course and dessert, nothing fancy though, just a light sponge cake.” Harry smiled into Louis’ neck as Louis started giggling.

“You gonna be sophisticated and join us in a glass of wine, Nialler?” Louis proceeded, pouring three glasses of wine.

“Nah, I’ll stick to me cans, thanks.” Louis sighed.

“You know lads, this isn’t just an informal night where we all lounge about on the couch eating takeaway and watching shit telly, it’s quite important, to us at least.” Louis informed them starting to pour a glass of ice-cold water for Harry. Louis poured Niall’s can into a glass anyway while Zayn tried to change the subject.

“So Harry, what are you cooking for our main?”

“Beef Tenderloin Stuffed with Peppers, Spinach, and Goat’s Cheese with Wine Sauce, and don’t worry Niall, you can’t taste the wine in the sauce.” Everyone took their places at the table. Harry was stood behind Louis’ chair so he pulled it out for him like a true gentleman. Harry decided now wouldn’t be too early to serve the main as they all looked ready to dig in, and he was pretty sure Niall would soon be asking for seconds and still have room for dessert, as always. He was also glad that no one seemed to mention the fact he was cooking with wine, unlike Louis had earlier, hopefully that was a sign that, even though the reason they were all here was to celebrate him being clean for two years, they wouldn’t just talk about the past or his problem all evening.

Almost half way through their meal, the conversation seemed to dip, although Harry and Louis hardly noticed and just thought the others were really enjoying the meal until Niall spoke up.

“You two are the absolute worst!”

“What’ve we done now Niall?” Louis was snapped back to reality from staring at Harry to turn towards Niall.

“All those heart eyes and fond looks. Thought it would’ve all stopped by now, I mean it was terrible when we were in the band and I now understand how the fans caught on, you’re hardly subtle about it. M’just glad you guys found each other but I didn’t think you’d still be together, y’know?”

“Where did that all come from? You know how much I love Harry! Hell, everyone probably knows how much I love him so of course we’re still together. Was never gonna leave him, m’still not gonna leave him.” Louis looked up towards Harry with a smile on his face that Harry knew was just for him. Their smile, Louis had called it once. The one he only reserves for Harry because he’s the only one special enough, apparently. Harry thought he would never understand that. But then again, he did know he’d never be able to put how much he loved Louis into words and actions would never convey the true capacity (And actions are supposed to speak louder than words, right?) Harry had never felt like that about another person before and he doubts he will ever again, so he guesses that’s as close to a special something for Louis, that or an engagement ring. But Louis wouldn’t want that would he? Why would he want to get married to Harry. He knew _he_ was the reason the band split up and he knew, even if Louis would never admit it, Louis must’ve hated him for that. Maybe he still does but doesn’t want Harry to know.

“Niall, don’t talk with your mouth full, please.” Harry interrupted but that was completely ignored by Niall, as per usual.

“I know how much you love him, and I know how much he loves you. It’s just shocking s’all. Never seen it happen before, like in those books and films. A real happily ever after.”

“When have _you_ ever read a book Niall?! Do you even know _how_ to read?” Using his fork as a catapult, Niall flung a dollop of goat’s cheese at Zayn.

“Yes I know how to read, arsehole! Anyway, as I was saying, you two are all each other have really _known._ I know you guys are completely smitten, anyone can see that and you said it yourself, Lou, but,” Niall hesitated before continuing. He didn’t want to push anything or rile Louis up, he knew how easy he was to wind up, of course without any intention. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll want to see other people?” Anger had already started boiling up inside Louis, he could feel it and he didn’t like it. And he especially didn’t like it when Niall was insulting their relationship. Who was he to judge them? He said it himself that they were both in love and anyone could tell. Wasn’t that enough evidence for Niall? What more did he want? Louis decided taking a few deep breaths would calm him down a little before he tries to continue explaining all of this to Niall.

“We’re not afraid, Niall. We’ve discussed it and we’re it for each other really... Harry knows I’d never leave him and I hope he’d never leave m-“

“I’m never leaving you, Lou.” Harry shook his head emphasising his point still keeping eye contact with Louis.

“Thank you darling,” Louis smiled a little and turned towards Niall to continue, “I just don’t know why I have to explain myself to you of all people Niall, why _we_ should have to explain this to you! You were all there right beside us while everything was going on. This is the reason we’ve invited you guys over, to celebrate Harry being clean for _two whole years_ , he hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol within that time because he’s too afraid all of those memories will come flooding back to him! You know how much it hurt us _and_ our relationship suffered because of it! You were there Niall!” Louis could feel himself getting a little upset. He didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, god knows he’s done enough of that when they were together, but all of the memories never left Louis and Niall just bringing all of this up again, opening an old wound that’s only just beginning to heal slowly, it’s wasn’t fair.

“Alright lads, let’s just calm ourselves down yeah? The attention’s being taken away from Harry for cooking this delicious meal! I mean we all knew he could cook, but you definitely pushed the boat out tonight, Styles!” Liam piped up and nudged Harry with his elbow, who in return gave him a small smile. But inside Harry’s head, he didn’t know what to think. Thought’s running wild, just like they used to when he felt like he couldn’t cope with everything. Almost as if he was being drowned by his own thoughts. But they weren’t thoughts he could will away, they just came back again and again, taunting, and no matter what anyone said to him, he couldn’t will himself to believe them. What if Niall was right? What if Louis did want to see other people? What if Harry wasn’t enough for him now, or he was too dependent, or too needy? He tried to remember all of the techniques he’d been taught and shown at his counselling sessions but nothing sprung to mind. He was panicking now, and he felt like it was written all over his face. However, he knew if it was Louis would’ve spoken up and he hadn’t mentioned anything, yet.

“Sorry guys, and sorry Lou, and you Harry, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, I guess curiosity just got the best of me.” Niall ducked his head down and never took his eyes off his food for the next few minutes.

“It’s alright Ni, if you were that curious you could’ve called us and asked or anything, you can talk to us or ask us anything, you know that! And the same goes for you two too. I just don’t want this night to be ruined by me getting riled up or anything, the attention’s supposed to be on Harry, isn’t that right, love?” Louis took Harry’s hand that was resting on the table into his own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Harry gave him the same small smile he’d given Liam, but this time Louis seemed to catch on and frowned a little, asking in his and Harry’s way if he was alright. Harry nodded and luckily for him Zayn had gotten Niall chatting about his latest date, which as Niall had explained to them “was a fucking disaster lads, knocked my drink off the table into one of the waiters and tripped the same guy up as he was walking past later with me fucking big feet!” in their group chat. Now though, Louis leaned over towards Harry so he could whisper to him without the others hearing.

“What’s wrong, baby? I’m sorry for what Niall said, you know how he is, take no notice of him.” Harry felt like he couldn’t escape, everything was too much. He knew Louis was always there for him, supporting him. But right now he felt like it was too much and he needed an escape. He needed a drink. He didn’t _want_ one but he _needed_ one and he didn’t know if he was strong enough to stop the urges. Forgetting all of his memory techniques didn’t help either. One thing he was certain of though, he needed to remove himself from the situation.

“I think I left the oven on, I’m just going to check, I won’t be long.” He said as he rose from his seat pointing towards the kitchen. The boys nodded acknowledging Harry’s statement and continued with their conversation whilst Harry made a swift exit.

As soon as he entered the kitchen, he fell back against the wall in between the door and the fridge and started taking deep breaths. ‘Breathe’, he thought. ‘That’s what I need to do. Close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing.’ Once his breathing had calmed him a little he opened his eyes. He thought he was safe, that was until his eyes zoned in on the half-empty bottle of wine he’d been cooking with. Before he could even talk himself out of it, his legs carried him over to the opposite side of the kitchen where the bottle stood. His hand was shaking as he picked it up and raised it to his trembling lips. He stopped himself though, and thought maybe just the smell would settle the ugly thoughts in his head and his undeniable need. He raised the bottle to his nose and inhaled deeply. The scent was certainly overwhelming, but also brought back memories of the last time he’d had a drop of alcohol and how it tasted. So sweet on his tongue and sweet to him, washing away the pain like painkillers would a headache.  But he knew, just a sniff wouldn’t do. He exhaled deeply and brought the bottle to his lips once again. He needed to taste it, needed to wash away the thoughts in his head and to calm his nerves. He took gulp after gulp until the rest of the bottle was finished and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand sloppily. It was _so good_. Just like Harry’d remembered it, or maybe even better after denying himself for so long. But half a bottle of wine wasn’t going to settle him, and he knew this. He needed more.

***

Back in the living-come dining room, the boys had started a full on debate over which film they thought was the best. Liam was obviously throwing titles of Marvel films around, whilst Niall stuck to his comedy films and Zayn kept pushing for Love Actually, wishing Harry would come back soon and stand in his corner. Louis however, seemed distracted and didn’t entertain or join in with their conversation. Harry had been in the kitchen for a while hadn’t he? Surely checking if the oven was still on wouldn’t take this long? Something was wrong. He could just tell and the way Harry had rushed out of the room had Louis slightly worried anyway. He rose from his seat and went to check on Harry, glad that none of the boys mentioned him leaving or asking where he was going. Once he was in the kitchen doorway, he stood paralysed. He couldn’t move. He also couldn’t believe his eyes. Harry was acting rampant, opening and slamming cupboard doors and kitchen drawers closed, frantically looking for something.

“Haz?” Louis gasped softly. Harry turned around like a bat out of hell and snapped at Louis.

“Where is it Louis?! I know you have a secret stash around here somewhere, where is it?!”

“Harry what are you talking about? You’re scaring me, love. Please just calm down a little!”

“Your alcohol stash Louis! What else did you think I was looking for?! Seriously! Just tell me where it is!” Louis knew what was happening. Harry had relapsed. Only, he had no idea why, or even where this came from. Maybe what Niall said was a trigger? But Louis had reassured Harry that everything Niall said was stupid and not to listen to him.

“Haz, babe. You need to calm yourself down right now. Honestly, you’re scaring me a little. Now I’m going to go and tell the boys that we’ll have to cut the evening short and we can explain everything to them when you’re feeling better.” He felt guilty knowing he’d have to send the boys home half way through the evening, but Harry was his priority. He felt guilty leaving Harry alone for a few minutes too, knowing he was falling apart all alone in the kitchen. When he entered the room, the boys were all looking at him expectantly. His head was hanging low and he felt downtrodden, knowing they probably all heard Harry’s shouting.

“Lads, I’m afraid we’re going to have to call it a night. Harry’s not feeling that well and I’d like to look after him properly.” They all stood from the table and came to hug Louis tight.

“What happened, Lou? You know we’ll all help, whatever it is.” Zayn spoke softly and quietly while Niall squeezed Louis tight and Liam was smoothing up and down his arm.

“It’s fine guys, I can deal with it, I’d just really like to be alone with him. It can be scary for other’s to see him like this, and I know he hates it too.” Louis sniffed but he wasn’t actually crying yet. He knew he would though, it was only a matter of time.

“Louis, if Harry’s scaring you we’re not going to leave you alone with him.” Liam told him sternly.

“No! It’s not like that! He’d never hurt me Liam, how can you even suggest that?! I just need to calm him down and I don’t think I can do that if you lot are still around, but I really need to get back to him, so if you don’t mind seeing yourselves out... I’ll call you when everything’s settled and when I’ll have time to explain, okay?” They all nodded reluctantly and slowly made their departure, grabbing their belongings before heading out the door. Once they left Louis stayed still, stuck to the spot he was standing in and inhaled and exhaled deeply, calming himself before entering the kitchen again.

The scene he’s confronted with paralyses him to the spot. Harry was sat slumped up against the cupboard under the sink, clutching a bottle of expensive champagne in his right hand. Louis knew it was expensive because he bought it for a very special occasion. Their six-year anniversary was coming up and Louis was planning on proposing to Harry with that bottle to celebrate, hoping that he’d be alright with champagne. But Harry didn’t need to know that right now, right now he needed Louis’ support, and that’s what he was going to get. Harry’s eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, tear tracks staining his angelic features. Even when he was falling apart he looked beautiful, Louis thought.

Distraught, Harry’s eyes flashed up to Louis’ face as tears began to fall once more, “Please don’t leave me Lou! Please don’t leave me for her! I love you Lou, I love you so much, please don’t leave me!” Louis rushed over to Harry’s side. He prised the bottle out of Harry’s hand and emptied it down the sink, knowing that any alcohol needed to be removed immediately. Then he rushed down to hold Harry in his arms tightly and never let go, shifting them into a more comfortable position with Harry practically in his lap. He rests Harry’s head against his chest. Harry sniffled and began talking again, hiccupping every now and again, “I know I don’t d-deserve you Lou, because I a-always f-fuck things up a-an-d you shouldn’t have t-to deal with my problems. B-but it h-h-hurts Lou, it hurts _so much_ a-and I don’t know h-how much more I-I- can take. Every time I see y-you leave me to go see h-her, it breaks my h-h-heart! Y-you say you love _me_ b-but you’re always out w-with _her_ , with _Eleanor_ and I _h-hate_ it! I a-always come second b-best! I know Louis. I _know_ you w-would rather be with h-her than m-me, but you’re meant to be dating m-me!” Louis let Harry sob all over him, comforting him in the only way he knew how, smoothing his hair gently with his one hand and stroking his cheek with the other, whispering soothing sounds trying to get Harry to calm down enough so he’s able to explain to Louis what happened. Harry took a big gulp of air causing him to splutter, cough and nearly choke until he noticed Louis was now in front of him holding a glass of water to his lips. Taking small sips he smiled at Louis as a thank you and Louis returned to his position holding onto Harry for dear life.

When Louis’ sure Harry’s calmed down much more and has now reduced to little hiccups and sniffles here and there he begins to whisper into Harry’s ear, fearing that if he speaks too loud Harry’s calm balance will be disrupted. “Haz, baby. Where has all of this come from? Eleanor isn’t here, she hasn’t been around for years! And I’m not leaving you Harry, you’re my partner and I’d never leave you because I’m actually quite fond of you. I’d even go as far as saying that I’m completely and utterly in love with you and you know this!” He pecks Harry’s cheek and squeezes him emphasising his words. Harry gives him a smile but not big enough for those dimples that Louis loves so much to show. “Harry, you’re the only one for me and you have been since I first saw you from across the room, yeah we might’ve been caught up in all those shitty PR stunts and having management hate us, but we came out on top Haz, we did! We fought and we won! And d’y’know why? Because love wins, and love will always win, and _our_ love will most definitely always win. Now I know later when you’re feeling better you’re going to be upset with yourself, but you need to remember Haz, babe, that I am not, and will never be upset or angry at you for relapsing. Because it’s just a blip, right? You’re still healing and you’re still learning, and that’s what makes us stronger.” He places a kiss on top of Harry’s unruly curls and rocks him back and forth on the floor, almost as if he were a baby. Harry’s counsellor had spoken to Louis advising him on techniques to use if they’d ever experience a problem such as Harry relapsing, and Louis had been terrified. He thought instantly that if it was to ever happen, that he’d fail Harry. But she’d told Louis that she has a pretty good idea he could do it because, he’s been doing it for the past three years and if anyone knows Harry more than Harry himself, it’s definitely Louis.

Harry turned around in Louis’ arms and gazed up at his wonderful boyfriend, he still didn’t know how a person this wonderful would be willing to stay with someone as fucked up as himself. “I’m sorry Lou, I’m _so_ sorry, I fucked up the evening a-and I-“

“Hey now! None of that! The lads will understand, and you will not be sorry, okay? There will be no more self pity or anymore self loathe, because baby you’re perfect. Now, I’m going to run you a bath with your new strawberry bubble bath okay? What d’you think?” Harry’s smile grew, his right (And more prominent) dimple appeared and Louis couldn’t resist poking his finger into it.

“Only if you’ll join me _and_ wash my hair for me, Lou, but only if you want to of course!” Harry sunk in on himself a little and lowered his head. Louis noticed and didn’t like it one bit, he gently lifted Harry’s head back up with a finger under his chin.

“I’d love to, darling. I love you.” He grabbed both sides of Harry’s face and pulled him in for a bruising kiss. Louis knew Harry was still feeling a little fragile and therefore Louis knew he needed to be Harry’s biggest support system right now. He knew it would take a few days and a few counselling sessions for them to get back to normal. He would just have to keep reassuring Harry that he’s never going to leave, even if Harry wants him to, he’s sort of stuck with him now.

***

A few months later Louis whisks Harry away to Thailand for their six-year anniversary with a surprise up his sleeve. He proposes to Harry on the balcony of their beachside villa, sharing the moment flooded by the moonlight and a cheap bottle of non-alcoholic wine. They had overcome so many difficult situations and yes, that caused for a celebration, but the best celebration in Harry’s opinion was just being with Louis. So, it might not have been the expensive champagne Louis knew Harry deserved, but the moment was theirs. One they would only share with loved ones, including friends and family, and maybe even their own children when the right time came. Harry’s thoughts of self-loathe and thoughts where he told himself Louis didn’t really want him came and went. In this moment, Harry finally believed, that yeah, he did deserve Louis and he did deserve to be happy, and he might still be healing and that was a long process, but he loved Louis and Louis loved him and stood by him for all these years. His response was the easiest ‘Yes’ he’d said his whole life and there was no hesitation whatsoever.

Later that night, when they were cuddled up in bed with their limbs entangled around each other, Harry thanked Louis, “Thank you, Lou, for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. And thank you for waiting for me, I’ve come to realise now, that if you didn’t love me, I don’t think you would’ve bothered with any of that, and I love you for that.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, babe. I guess you’re just easy to love though.” Louis attacked his face with little pecks until Harry was a giggling and squirming mess in the sheets. They would be fine, they’d have problems and they’d know how to overcome them in the future. Louis wasn’t worried so much anymore, he knew they’d both make it through, because love wins, and _their_ love always wins.

**Author's Note:**

> Well I hope you enjoyed reading that! As always, you can visit my tumblr [here](http://princess-lou.tumblr.com)


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